Being a Woman—I Am a Lot of Things Together

I am a woman.

I am a professional.

I am a daughter.

I am a wife.

I am a mom.

And yes, I am a working mom.

Being a woman is an incredibly rich and fulfilling journey. We find joy in our children’s achievements, worry over their challenges, and pour our hearts into everything we do. Yet, in the process of raising and nurturing our families, we sometimes struggle with guilt. We may feel torn between pursuing our passions, ambitions, and needs while caring for our loved ones. This is especially true for working moms.

Although society is slowly changing—more dads are taking time off work—traditionally, the role of the primary caregiver has still often fallen to mothers. For many, being a full-time mother is deeply satisfying, but that doesn’t make it the right choice for every woman.

Here’s a message to all women: No matter the path you choose—whether to stay at home or continue working—you don’t have to feel guilty about it!

Yes, you read that right. Stop feeling guilty!

Many working moms experience guilt over not spending enough time with their children. I’ve often heard mothers say that their sense of worth diminishes when they’re not working, yet the guilt increases when they are. But here’s something important to realize: Being a working mom can have a positive impact on your children.

By following your passion and showing your children the importance of balancing work and life, you model values that will serve them well in the future. Working moms teach their children perseverance, ambition, and the importance of pursuing their dreams. If stepping away from work leaves you feeling unfulfilled, it can create an underlying sadness that affects everyone. If work brings you joy and energy, bring that positive energy back home. Be a happy mom!

While it may not be easy to shake off guilt overnight, here are a few ways to cope:

1. Focus on the Bigger Picture

Stop obsessing over the little things. Sure, you might miss a school event or skip making a homemade costume, but the bigger picture is what matters. Celebrate the milestones you can be there for and make the most of the time you do get to spend with your child. Make that time count by being engaged, positive, and present.

2. Get Organized

Sync your calendar with your child’s! Even if you can’t be everywhere at once, planning allows you to be conscious of what matters most. You’ll feel more in control and less anxious about missing events or appointments.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Every family is unique. Cultivate your relationship with your child and create a routine that works for your family. It’s hard, but try to stop comparing yourself to other parents. If your child asks about missing an event, be honest. Explain that work is important for you, the family, and your sense of fulfillment, and share how much you wish you could be there with them.

4. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Recognize your support system—whether it’s your partner, friends, or family members. Don’t be afraid to lean on them. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or inadequate; it makes you resourceful. It’s a strength to know when to ask for support.

5. Make Family Time Meaningful

Plan your holidays and weekend outings with both your needs and your child’s needs in mind. A simple family outing—whether to a park, a museum, or a movie—can mean the world to your child. And don’t forget to carve out time for yourself. After a family adventure, indulge in something that recharges you—a quiet meal, a spa visit, or just some “me-time.”

A Special Note to Special Needs Moms

For mothers of children with special needs, balancing work and family can be even more challenging. The demands on your time and energy are greater, and many special needs moms choose to prioritize their child’s care, often putting their career aspirations on hold. I’ve worked closely with special needs families for years, and I want to take a moment to honor each one of you. Your sacrifice and commitment are deeply appreciated.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother.

And a million ways to be a good one.”

Jill Churchill

Embrace the path that’s right for you, and remember there is no one-size-fits-all solution to motherhood. You are doing your best, and that’s enough